Thwarted!

So my imaginary life is part good/part not so good this week.

On the good side, my imaginary rocker boyfriend Pat has left me lots of wine suggestion messages on Facebook. How cool is that? Not only is he a bad ass stage pirate, but he drinks wine! Ours is a match made in imaginary heaven. I am still discovering (aka stalking) new things about him every day and I am more and more sure that I couldn't have created a better pretend relationship.

However....my BFF Jen may be playing mind games with me. Think back for a moment on the last conversation we had about Jen. She had just launched a new perfume, which I was half-heartedly interested in until I found out it had jasmine in it - which is one of my real favorite scents. So I accepted that I would probably be spending too much money on a bottle of new perfume that I didn't really need - and I began googling it. What I discovered is that it is exclusively available at Harrods. Which for any non-shopaholics out there, is NOT in the United States of America. Sadly. But I pushed onward and hit the online version, resigned myself to paying for international shipping and began to figure out pounds to dollars conversion. Then I get slapped by the fine print. "Select items not available for international shipping....PERFUME" Ok, so the word 'perfume' was not in all caps, but it would certainly have saved me fifteen minutes if it had been. So now, after all that, I am not going to be able to wear Jennifer Aniston. At least not at this point in time. If anyone is traveling abroad though....hook a girl up.

Stalker or Fan?

Two big developments under the category of 'Stephanie's Imaginary Relationships' today!

So my pretend BFF, Jennifer Aniston, debuted her new perfume today. My knowing this does not make me a stalker - I swear I wasn't lurking around her house or her fan club website - it simply is apparently big news on Yahoo at one in the morning. (If you are thinking...'damn, this chica likes to blog way late at night'...then you would be correct. I think my creative brain cells sleep during the monotony of my day and stagger awake when the sun goes down.) I want you to know that I had zero intention...ok maybe a sliver of intention....of buying perfume purely because she likes it and it has her name on it. However, when reading the article about the debut in London it mentions that it has notes of jasmine. Two fun facts about jasmine: It is a natural aphrodisiac and I absolutely love it. I own straight jasmine essential oil - although I am very careful about when I wear it. Sometimes it is not appropriate to have men sniffing your neck all night....you have to be responsible when you are dealing with mind altering oils. In a nutshell, I guess I am going to have to buy some new perfume.

Development Number Two! I am giving myself an imaginary soulmate. I know you are wondering why it took me so long to think of this, since Jen A. and I have been imaginary friends for years....and I have no excuse. I just didn't realize the potential of an imaginary life until I started fantasizing about Pat Monahan (lead singer of Train for those of you uneducated in the art of imaginary rockstar boyfriends) after watching him unexpectedly on television. And I thought....why not? I am going to be the first to admit that this is a completely shallow relationship built purely on my needs and fantasies. He is sexy, has nice shoulders, and commands the stage like he is a pirate. He is all I have ever dreamed of in an imaginary boyfriend. I am sure that there will be more on this topic later, but now I am going to load up 'Save Me, San Francisco' and play "Marry Me" on repeat as I fall asleep. Life is good.

Season Two Intro~

Commence Season Two! If you are a loyal follower...thanks and welcome back. Hopefully this second blog installment will be equally amusing, touching, random, and interesting. If you are a new convert.....welcome to the insanity that is my thought process. If you'd like to catch up then check out my links for the first season of my blogging - Divorce Isn't For Sissies.

As a recap - here is the character list from Season One:

Stephanie - Our heroine - the witty and wonderful...me.

Chet - My sexy boyfriend - who let me blog all about our new romance in Season One. And who let me call him Chet even though it makes me think he is a farmer. (He is not an actual farmer - unless you count all the love he grows in my heart....awwwwww...[That was just for you Cindy - did we decide on an alias for you yet?])

Lola - One of my sisters - the one who actually knows where all the bodies are buried. Lola was also a guest blogger last season and may make a Season Two appearance.

Jen Aniston - the actual Jen Aniston - who was unknowingly my BFF during my divorce. As it is in life, we are no longer as close in my imagination as we once were,
but I wish her well.

Jenn - My real BFF, who actually needs a good alias before I can write her into Season Two. She is the un-divorced version of me that I didn't realize walked the earth until about a year ago. She also just got a super sexy hair makeover.

Sasha - A (sometimes) mature, good friend that indulges in my wine habit with me and assisted me in creating one of my most shameful Jack-induced memories.

Julia - A younger friend of mine that reminds me of myself pre-Brad that is still Prince hunting. All of us need to be on the lookout for a worthy prince for her. I have a Cracker Jack box prize for anyone with a worthy candidate.

Brad - My ex-husband, who's storyline has pretty much been terminated but was around for so long that he may be mentioned from time to time as background.

Mr. John Black - An ex-boyfriend after my split from Brad that was not a great fit for my life, but had an instrumental role in helping me get my groove back.

Delilah - My God-given overworked and beloved guardian angel. Yes, an actual angel.


Season Two's actual premiere will be sometime next week, as our heroine is about to embark on an adventure to Sin City with two new cast members...Fiona and Wallace. I am sure that we will create all new blog-worthy tales of mischief....the stories of which will soon follow....VIVA LAS VEGAS!