"Music takes us out of the actual and whispers to us dim secrets that startle our wonder as to who we are, and for what, whence, and whereto.”
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Some nights, music knocks me on my ass. It is usually not a planned event, mostly it sneaks up on me. Sometimes it is in a good way, sometimes a not so good way. I haven't really talked about it in my blog so much, but my life is run on playlists. I love music. I am kind of a jack of all trades music lover - I know a little bit about a lot of stuff, but am an expert in none. All I really know is what moves me personally. I spend hours trolling through my music program online searching for new artists I haven't met yet or haunting acoustic versions hiding in some obscure playlist somewhere - waiting for something to grab me by the throat and make my heart break. I have playlists for working out, playlists for roadtrips, playlists for wine drinking and rainy nights and hot date preparation. I sing in the shower, in the car, and in lullabies to my kids every day. Music just hits a part of me that nothing else does, that is the best way to explain it.
Because of this, there are songs for every major life event I have had. Songs that I associate with different time periods or different relationships. And those songs can pull emotions out of me and throw me back ten years in time within the first few measures of intro music. Great eighties songs that they played at the pool in the summer when I was a kid or old Bangles ballads they played for couple skates at Metro Skate. Old country love songs that were sang at my wedding. "Don't Stop Believing" is always Lola and I dancing somewhere. Counting Crows songs from my days with John Black. Alicia Keys and Pink party songs whenever Lola and I would be getting ready to go out on the town. Singing "Groovy Kind of Love" in the car with Chet on the way home from the casino one night. These are all memories that are always going to stay stuck in my memory and instantly throw me down memory lane when they come on. With that said - if I had to make a playlist of twenty songs that illustrate my life so far....here is the result.
Papa Don't Preach - Madonna
Out of the Blue - Debbie Gibson
Toy Soldier - Markita
Once Bitten, Twice Shy - Great White
Cross My Heart - George Strait
Secret Garden - Bruce Springsteen
Come Away With Me - Norah Jones
Brown Eyed Girl - Jim Morrison
Don't Stop Believing - Journey
Suck My Kiss - RHCP
This Year's Love - David Gray
Open My Eyes - Buck Cherry
Hazy - Counting Crows
Like Red On A Rose - Alan Jackson
Trouble - Pink
Groovy Kind of Love - Phil Collins
Untitled - Domestic Problems
Can't Help Falling in Love - Elvis Presley
Sideways - Sheryl Crow
A Moment Changes Everything - David Gray
**Quick Disclaimer - these are not by any means my twenty favorite songs or even my favorite artists. I have no control over how stuck they are in my brain and am well aware that they form the most crazy, chaotic, non-cohesive playlist ever. Thus my life.
Showing posts with label John Black. Show all posts
Showing posts with label John Black. Show all posts
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Curse of the Golf Course~
Anytime I engage in texting conversations on the golf course I regret it. Once, it really messes up my flow. Two, these conversations seem to be jinxed. No good can come of communicating with the outside world while I am driving a golf cart.
This week I was playing my best round ever and right before the seventh hole I was an idiot and answered a text. The following conversation riled me up and I am sure my last three holes were less than my best effort. I did end up with my personal best - but just think how much better I would have done if I had ignored the phone! I love golf because I am in constant competition with the best possible opponent - myself. Nothing makes me happier than kicking my own ass.
We don't need to get into the specifics of this text conversation, but I will tell you it was with John Black. (If you don't remember him then I suggest you revisit the character page or Season One.) And here is the one comment that seriously just set me off.
"I need to do what is best for myself."
Why? Isn't that the teeniest bit selfish? Since when is it okay to excuse bad behavior just because it is in your best interest? Isn't that the very definition of selfish? Now, as a quick disclaimer, I am not saying John Black is totally selfish. But at the end of the day...if it comes down to choosing between what is best for him and best for someone else, he always goes with what is best for him. And he is always going to use that excuse to sanctify anything that he wants to do. And I don't think this is just a John Black problem. I think that this goes way beyond an individual and is something that society preaches today. Be whoever you want to be. You can have whatever you want. Look after number one. It almost makes me want to go back in time to an era where neighbors all pitched in whenever anyone needed help except that I don't want to raise any dumb barns and women pretty much weren't allowed to blog back then...
I don't think you can have whatever you want. And I don't think you can be everything that you want to be. I think that you have to stand up and make tough decisions based on your behavior. If you do something wrong - you fix it. Even if it isn't in your best interest. You handle your life with integrity and with honesty and with the people that you love in mind. You don't charge forward with your eyes on the prize and hurt anyone in your way to get to it. You don't get to use people when it is convenient for you and toss them aside when it is in your best interest. Life is not about having everything or being great at everything or taking care of number one. Life is about building relationships with people that we care about and that inevitably involves making choices that sometimes we would rather not make. When we do that, we make a very strong statement about the kind of person that we are and the values we hold. And when you are weak and think only of yourself....well, you make a strong statement about yourself then, too.
This week I was playing my best round ever and right before the seventh hole I was an idiot and answered a text. The following conversation riled me up and I am sure my last three holes were less than my best effort. I did end up with my personal best - but just think how much better I would have done if I had ignored the phone! I love golf because I am in constant competition with the best possible opponent - myself. Nothing makes me happier than kicking my own ass.
We don't need to get into the specifics of this text conversation, but I will tell you it was with John Black. (If you don't remember him then I suggest you revisit the character page or Season One.) And here is the one comment that seriously just set me off.
"I need to do what is best for myself."
Why? Isn't that the teeniest bit selfish? Since when is it okay to excuse bad behavior just because it is in your best interest? Isn't that the very definition of selfish? Now, as a quick disclaimer, I am not saying John Black is totally selfish. But at the end of the day...if it comes down to choosing between what is best for him and best for someone else, he always goes with what is best for him. And he is always going to use that excuse to sanctify anything that he wants to do. And I don't think this is just a John Black problem. I think that this goes way beyond an individual and is something that society preaches today. Be whoever you want to be. You can have whatever you want. Look after number one. It almost makes me want to go back in time to an era where neighbors all pitched in whenever anyone needed help except that I don't want to raise any dumb barns and women pretty much weren't allowed to blog back then...
I don't think you can have whatever you want. And I don't think you can be everything that you want to be. I think that you have to stand up and make tough decisions based on your behavior. If you do something wrong - you fix it. Even if it isn't in your best interest. You handle your life with integrity and with honesty and with the people that you love in mind. You don't charge forward with your eyes on the prize and hurt anyone in your way to get to it. You don't get to use people when it is convenient for you and toss them aside when it is in your best interest. Life is not about having everything or being great at everything or taking care of number one. Life is about building relationships with people that we care about and that inevitably involves making choices that sometimes we would rather not make. When we do that, we make a very strong statement about the kind of person that we are and the values we hold. And when you are weak and think only of yourself....well, you make a strong statement about yourself then, too.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Season Two Intro~
Commence Season Two! If you are a loyal follower...thanks and welcome back. Hopefully this second blog installment will be equally amusing, touching, random, and interesting. If you are a new convert.....welcome to the insanity that is my thought process. If you'd like to catch up then check out my links for the first season of my blogging - Divorce Isn't For Sissies.
As a recap - here is the character list from Season One:
Stephanie - Our heroine - the witty and wonderful...me.
Chet - My sexy boyfriend - who let me blog all about our new romance in Season One. And who let me call him Chet even though it makes me think he is a farmer. (He is not an actual farmer - unless you count all the love he grows in my heart....awwwwww...[That was just for you Cindy - did we decide on an alias for you yet?])
Lola - One of my sisters - the one who actually knows where all the bodies are buried. Lola was also a guest blogger last season and may make a Season Two appearance.
Jen Aniston - the actual Jen Aniston - who was unknowingly my BFF during my divorce. As it is in life, we are no longer as close in my imagination as we once were,
but I wish her well.
Jenn - My real BFF, who actually needs a good alias before I can write her into Season Two. She is the un-divorced version of me that I didn't realize walked the earth until about a year ago. She also just got a super sexy hair makeover.
Sasha - A (sometimes) mature, good friend that indulges in my wine habit with me and assisted me in creating one of my most shameful Jack-induced memories.
Julia - A younger friend of mine that reminds me of myself pre-Brad that is still Prince hunting. All of us need to be on the lookout for a worthy prince for her. I have a Cracker Jack box prize for anyone with a worthy candidate.
Brad - My ex-husband, who's storyline has pretty much been terminated but was around for so long that he may be mentioned from time to time as background.
Mr. John Black - An ex-boyfriend after my split from Brad that was not a great fit for my life, but had an instrumental role in helping me get my groove back.
Delilah - My God-given overworked and beloved guardian angel. Yes, an actual angel.
Season Two's actual premiere will be sometime next week, as our heroine is about to embark on an adventure to Sin City with two new cast members...Fiona and Wallace. I am sure that we will create all new blog-worthy tales of mischief....the stories of which will soon follow....VIVA LAS VEGAS!
As a recap - here is the character list from Season One:
Stephanie - Our heroine - the witty and wonderful...me.
Chet - My sexy boyfriend - who let me blog all about our new romance in Season One. And who let me call him Chet even though it makes me think he is a farmer. (He is not an actual farmer - unless you count all the love he grows in my heart....awwwwww...[That was just for you Cindy - did we decide on an alias for you yet?])
Lola - One of my sisters - the one who actually knows where all the bodies are buried. Lola was also a guest blogger last season and may make a Season Two appearance.
Jen Aniston - the actual Jen Aniston - who was unknowingly my BFF during my divorce. As it is in life, we are no longer as close in my imagination as we once were,
but I wish her well.
Jenn - My real BFF, who actually needs a good alias before I can write her into Season Two. She is the un-divorced version of me that I didn't realize walked the earth until about a year ago. She also just got a super sexy hair makeover.
Sasha - A (sometimes) mature, good friend that indulges in my wine habit with me and assisted me in creating one of my most shameful Jack-induced memories.
Julia - A younger friend of mine that reminds me of myself pre-Brad that is still Prince hunting. All of us need to be on the lookout for a worthy prince for her. I have a Cracker Jack box prize for anyone with a worthy candidate.
Brad - My ex-husband, who's storyline has pretty much been terminated but was around for so long that he may be mentioned from time to time as background.
Mr. John Black - An ex-boyfriend after my split from Brad that was not a great fit for my life, but had an instrumental role in helping me get my groove back.
Delilah - My God-given overworked and beloved guardian angel. Yes, an actual angel.
Season Two's actual premiere will be sometime next week, as our heroine is about to embark on an adventure to Sin City with two new cast members...Fiona and Wallace. I am sure that we will create all new blog-worthy tales of mischief....the stories of which will soon follow....VIVA LAS VEGAS!
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