Sunday, August 28, 2011

Mistaken Identity~

So at the end of the school year Jack's nine year old daughter brings home a cup of dirt. Supposedly this cup of dirt contains a sunflower seed. Daughter forgets about this cup of dirt ten minutes after she excitedly tells us all about and runs away. Jack does not.

Being a good dad, Jack waters it every couple days til it sprouts. After a few weeks he transplants it into a little pot and the sprout now takes up residence on the front porch patio table- the same table where Jack and I sit frequently at night and have a conversation that goes something like this:

Me: I don't think that thing is going to flower.

Jack: Maybe it is a late bloomer.

Me: It looks like a weed.

Jack: No matter, I am going to continue to water it daily until, through sheer will and super dad powers, I transform it from a suspicious looking weed into a beautiful sunflower that my daughter grew from her own hands.

Ok, so he didn't say that last part - I inferred it from the look on his face. And the fact that he did continue to water it daily for the last three months, even though it has become glaringly obvious that this thing is not a flower.

Fastforward to present day where I have been walking around with a Kleenex box for the better part of two weeks because of allergies. We are sitting outside at the patio when Jack says, "Look! It flowered!" And indeed it had, except 'flowered' is the wrong word - what it actually was doing was 'seeding'. Daughter's pretty little sunflower is actually.....ragweed. Jack has been harboring and feeding my worst allergin all summer long, right outside the front door. Of course, by this time he has invested way too much time and energy into this devil plant - so even after I showed him identical photos proving it was ragweed.....he continues to water it. While I continue to sneeze. Don't be surprised if Monday while he is at work a huge jungle cat jumps on the porch and eats it - pot and all.

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Saturday, August 20, 2011


Holy cow, August is almost over. And I have times. I am ashamed, I am embarassed, I am mortified, I am......actually just busy. I wish that I could tell you exactly what I am busy doing but no great accomplishments leap to mind. So while you have been hovering over your keyboard refreshing the page to see what I am going to blog, only to be disappointed over and over (you know it) I have been:

Doing laundry.

Cooking at least 42 but not quite 74 grilled cheese sandwiches.

Watched an entire season of Project Runway on On Demand.

Read several no-brainer, beach reads while not on a beach - excluding my actual book club book, which I did not read.

Attended book club - where I covered the essentials of socializing, eating bad-for-me food, drinking beverages that cannot be served in sippy cups, and...this month...bowling.

Completely planned, researched, and sketched out my city garden that I plan on planting year since this year seems to be a check in the 'fail' column.

Planned on celebrating my one year anniversary with Jack by dressing in clothing other than pajama pants, drinking some whiskey and dancing like an idiot to super loud music.

Actually celebrated my one year anniversary with Jack by dressing in clothing that was pajama pants, drinking Sprite because it is caffeine free and doesn't keep me up all night, and eating take out pizza pockets in between demolishing a box of Kleenex due to my hate/hate relationship with ragweed and pretty much Mother Nature in general.

Began a new hobby of bird watching which basically means being able to sit on the porch and appreciate the difference between a sparrow and a chickadee. Which I am doing now, while blogging. I am such a multi-tasker.

So there ya have it. That is what you have been waiting for. I would like to promise you more adventure in the next week or so but to be safe I will just say that I again post a great adventure. Or at least something witty that involves more plot that just bullet pointing my mundane, monthy minutiae. (Notice that I left you with clever alliteration which changes this blog from stolen minute rambling into a literary piece of art. Enjoy)