Red Flags~

I like to read dating articles online. I don't know why, they never tell me anything new, and I never really follow any advice anyway - but the headlines pop up on my home page and inevitable I check them out. It amuses me a bit that someone gets paid to write an article telling woman that they should make eye contact and smile to get a man's attention. Really? I want to be paid to write an article telling people how not to trip. My steps will be to tie your shoes and step over objects in your path. That is about as relevant as the smiling advice. In my mind, if you are not smiling or meeting people's eyes when you talk then maybe you have a bigger problem than just finding a date. But that is just my opinion, of course. My degree in psychology is definitely of the armchair variety.

I digress.

In this article that I read a woman wrote an entire book on how to tell if you are marrying the wrong guy and what kind of red flags to look for. An ENTIRE book! Not that I don't believe that there are that many things wrong to watch out for - because that is entirely true - but writing an entire book takes a relatively long time. That is a lot of effort put into what is basically common sense. Not that I am one to talk - I have literally no common sense. I have to learn everything through trial and error. The following is what I learned~

1. Don't date any men that have not lived on their own at least sometime in their life. This is true for so many reasons that I cannot even list them all. I will share one story to make my point. When I first moved in with Brad we had an argument because I didn't move the furniture every single time I vacuumed like his mom did. (She didn't by the way, I called her) Men need to live alone to appreciate the things that you do.

2. Don't date any men that never drive, never offer to pay, or never let you see where they live. I once had a man let me pay for everything on a first date and drive him around all evening. I don't mind paying or driving, but I am never going to be attracted to a man that wants me to be the man on a first date.

3. Any stranger that randomly contacts you on any social networking site? Wierdo. (Or painfully lonely - also not a good dating quality) If he has time to sit around online and search female profiles then he isn't using that time to have a life. Block him.

4. Forget checking out men's bathrooms - I have yet to meet a single man that has a clean bathroom. The first time you go to a man's place - check his kitchen out. If he has nothing in his fridge but beer and nothing in his cupboards but chips - he is still a wanna be frat boy or he is getting his meals from another female. Or he is starving I suppose. All bad options.

5. If you don't click with a man when you kiss...nothing else is going to click either. Quit while you are ahead. Chemistry cannot be forced no matter how many dreams, people, or values you have in common.

6. If you have to work at it too hard - conversation, intimacy, finding common ground- then something is wrong. Your gut knows it but your brain is in denial. Walk away.

7. If a man is intimidated by your successes, your talents, or your high heels - move on. He has issues of his own to deal with before he is going to be ready to appreciate your awesomeness.

8. If your friends and family don't like him - he will never be able to make you happy. You will always be going back and forth between them and him. No matter how great you click, this will stress you out and wear you down.

I am sure there are more, but these are a good beginning. For the rest you will need to buy the book.