Best Blind Date EVER~

I am practicing sarcasm.

Wallace interrupted me in the middle of what to that point had been a very spectacular golf game last night to feel me out on a set up. It didn't ruin my golf game - I shot a 62, which for me is a pretty good game, but whenever I answer a text on the golf course I lose my mojo. My first four holes had been fantastic - my last five were merely ok. I should just leave my phone in the Jeep from now on.

Anyway, point of the story is that I jabbered a bit online to some people about the insanity that is blind dating. Blind date stories are almost always hilarious - after the fact. During an awful blind date all that goes through your mind is that it can't possibly be happening the way you think it is. On any blind date I have ever had I have always sat there thinking that maybe they just have a strange sense of humor that I am just not understanding. I have never had one turn out with a good ending, but mainly they were just boring and slightly weird. One, however, has a leg up on the others in the crazy competition - we will call him Jason. I started to write the whole story out, but it made this blog entry more like a horror novella, so I am just going to bullet point the timeline:

- I agree to meet Jason for dinner, we speak on the phone for about five minutes to finalize plans. This is the ONLY contact we have had outside of a few emails.

- Jason's sister calls me (she took my # of his cell) to ask me my INTENTIONS with her brother. She then proceeds to give me a detailed dating history to explain why Jason needs her to look out for him. I try and be polite and optimistically think maybe his sister is just crazy, but this does not bode well for our date.

- An hour later she calls me back to ask me where he is - she thinks he is missing AND ASKS ME TO COME HELP HER FIND HIM! Are you serious? I have never seen this guy in person and you want me to locate him? At this point I call him and he doesn't answer so I am pretty much writing him off now.

- The next day Jason calls me, says he was up north out of cell service, and apologizes profusely for his sister. He is on his way to see me already or I wouldn't have gone out. I shouldn't have anyway.

- We go out to eat. I pay and he doesn't even offer to contribute. We go to a softball game. I drive. He brings his cell phone charger in MY Jeep and plugs it in so he can text all the way down to the fields! He wants to go out after, but I drop him at his car and go home.

You would think that would have been the end of it, but when I get home he calls me to tell me he left his phone charger in my car so he wants to get together again to get it. I find it UNDER the passenger seat, obviously planted, and tell him I will just mail it to him. He AND his sister call me incessantly for a few days - which I ignore. I never had to speak to him again - and he never got his charger back.

I figure that with this story behind me, any blind date in my future can't possibly be any worse. Of course, I probably just completely jinxed myself and Ben's friend is going to end up speaking gibberish and having a crazy toe fetish....which, upon reflection, I guess is still better than crazy Jason and his sister~